words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Rachel: I said it's still nap time.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: I was kidding.
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Caitlin: I just, I thought Joey was there.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
Chandler: Why am I looking?
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: I want to go on a ride along!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Rachel: Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog.
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?!
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Chandler: I can't smell your sandwich?
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Monica: All right, I guess we should go.
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, Im opening mine.
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense
Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.
Chandler: I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.
Guy: (he reaches into the car and slams his siren on the roof.) So am I!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Ross: Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Ross: Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Ross: Yeah, I want my money back.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Chandler: All right, well Im gonna put my sweats back on.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Gary: No, I mean happy.
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Gary: I know! I can't wait!
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.