words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Rachel: I said it's still nap time.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: I was kidding.
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure you should be here when he comes up.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Gunther: So I guess Rachel had you baby?
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Ross: No I dont.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Joey: No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!
Ross: Im gonna go.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Joey: I said I didnt technically.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
Joey: Im sorry! It was a reflex!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Ross: I broke my thumb.
Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.
Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess. I-I I mean, do-do you think were ever gonna have that?
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: Yes I am!!
Monica: Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt
Rachel: Okay so listen Im gonna go lay down.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Rachel: You know what I really really want?
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Chandler: (without turning around) I thought you were gonna be gone all day.
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...
Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
RACH: What? [looks, feigns indifference] C'mon you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Monica: I know! (They high-five.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Ross: N No! We took a cab too, but I did test runs!
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Mike: I am Mike.
Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Monica: That I was going to eat him.
Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Mike: No, I didn't.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.