words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Rachel: I said it's still nap time.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: I was kidding.
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Molly: I think it's sweet. (goes to leave)
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food.
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Gunther: I dropped a cup.
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
Rachel: I promise.
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Rachel: But I am going hunting!!
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it!
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Monica: Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! (pause) Oh right, real life more important.
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Chandler: I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant.
Joey: I know, yeah!
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Joey/Drake: Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you.
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Chandler: (emotional) It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.
Monica: I swear I didnt know she was a hooker! I mean whDid you let her smoke in here?
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Ross: Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads.
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Rachel: (moves away again) I-I-I-Im just Im just a good kisser!