words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Rachel: I said it's still nap time.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: I was kidding.
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Ross: I heard it. I heard it.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Chandler: Im not macho.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Ill take, Ill take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.)
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Tag: Im ready for more.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Rachel: Ohh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. See you and hug you. (Hugs him) See you.
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Rachel: Im not?
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
Theodore: I recently had surgery.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Monica: Yeah I am!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Rachel: I want to tell you to have a good honeymoon! (Hugs Monica.)
Monica: Yeah, but Im the only one related by blood.
Rachel: Oh, I so wanted Ross to know first, but Im so relieved you guys know.
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Phoebe: I really, really am sorry.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: I didnt think you could keep it a secret.
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Joey: Hey, I washed those!
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Joey: Oh wow, I dont feel well.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please?
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Rachel: I know. I know, but yknow condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me?
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Dr. Long: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I do need you! I need you to stand near my head!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: I know.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?