words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
Rachel: I said it's still nap time.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... hit on her?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: I was kidding.
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Kate: Im soo glad I caught you, I couldnt find you before.
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Phoebe: Sorry, Im so sorry, I will pay you back.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Joey: Anyone mind if I save this?
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Monica: I know.
Monica: I guess that's how.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
All: I love you, love you.
Pete: Okay, I love you.
Monica: I love you.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
Lowell: I know. That's what I told her.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Monica: Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.
Ross: Can I see you for a second?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
Monica: So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm...
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Rachel: (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Lauren: I know! I-Im a big fan of yours.
Monica: (pause) I have no idea.
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Pete: I promise.
DOCTOR: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction.
Phoebe: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Ross: Okay, you dont have to stop, Im invisible, Im not here. (lights a candle)
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)