words in movies
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Phoebe: Okay, this is inexcusable. I am shocked to my very core!
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Gunther: Yeah, thats what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Oh good, when he comes back for his keys, Ill be sure to give him your shoe.
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Woman: (walking up) I love your car.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Rachel: Well, maybe-maybe I could be your roommate Pheebs.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Rachel: I dont wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
The Porsche Owner: Im not coming back.
The Porsche Owner: I live upstate.
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Rachel: Well, yes, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names I think.
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Ross: Did I, did I even treat?
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
Rachel: Im gonna need a copy of those.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
Monica: I just told my Mom Id cater a party for her.
Chandler: So, you still dont think Im boyfriend material?
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance. (Motions for one.)
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Rachel: No, I dont.
FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
Chandler: Yknow what, Im gonna uh, play the field just a little more.
Chandler: Well, Im there too!
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Rachel: Yeah, I
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Monica: Wait, now, what am I doing again?
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Ross: Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Emily: Oh my God. I think youre right.
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Janice: Oh boy, I just love to sing!
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
Chandler: Im the ruptured spleen. (Laughs.)
Janice: I know! And Im just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!
Chandler: But I do know that its some time tomorrow.
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. Thats right, yes, Im being transferred to Yemen!
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
Chandler: Oh, Im packing. Yknow Im-Im packing cause Im moving to Yemen tomorrow.
Ross: Hey, I can handle it! All right?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, I dont know. I mean its not like we dont have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Mr. Treeger:: Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, (checks watch). Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball.
Joey: I need something sweet.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
CHANDLER: Ok so, can I have my hat back?
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Monica: (interrupting) All right!! All right. (walks slowly into the living room) I got stung. Stung bad. I couldnt stand. I-I couldnt walk.
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Dr. Green: Ooh, I have a little heart attack.
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know. Ross, I still cant forgive you for what you did, I cant, I just, but sometimes when Im with you I just, I feel so...
Chandler: Im getting dressed.
Mr. Treeger:: No, I ahh, had another idea.
Pete: I got to go, so ah, Ill see you guys later.
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Ross: What? No! No, Im not stopping. Im Red Ross!
Ross: I like that.
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that "Woo-hoo" thing.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Ross: No, no, Im serious. Thank you.
Janice: Oh. Well, Ill right you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.