words in movies
Chandler: Oooh, Im afraid that does not exist.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan.
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Ross: I could put uh-uh a basketball court in the back.
Chandler: Could I play?
Tag: I just did them.
Tag: Yeah, I filled them out last night?
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
Melissa: Well, weve been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
The Photographer: Im sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: I do? (He smiles, beautifully.)
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Joey: All right, I guess this will be fine.
Rachel: How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag? Ill pay.
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Im having a really good time!
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Yeah, I Well yknow I-I mean I missed the-the semi-finals, so Id just be lost.
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
Phoebe: Okay, dont freak out. Ill go.
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Phoebe: Okay, I know. Hold on. (She walks over to the couch.) Hey Ross?
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Phoebe: I dont have it!
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast Ill be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Tag: And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night.
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: I cant help it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Chandler: Im still right here!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Chandler: There I am!
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Ross: I think he can be.
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Rachel: Oh no, yes I do! I do! I mean, come on go on, you were, you were saying I am happier when uh, yknow?
Tag: When Im in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend.
Tag: Someone I can spoil, yknow?
Tag: Im gettin back together with my ex-girlfriend.
Rachel: Id love to!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. Is that annoying? And speaking about being selfish in bed, hows Whitney?
Whitney: Well, I went over to Kyles last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing
Whitney: Im gonna work on that.
Whitney: I do know.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Phoebe: Yeah, and yknow what? I dont give a tiny rats ass.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Chandler: Im marrying her.
Rachel: I didn't know there were docks.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Rachel: I know!
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I dont know how to talk to you.
RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend youre a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Chandler: I cant remember which sister.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Chandler: Yep, Im in a tree.
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
ROB: I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really, really great.
Chandler: Im here to see Mary-Angela.
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
Chandler: So will I.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Monica: I wish all guys could be like him.
Monica: I mean dont you trust her?
Mary-Angela: (standing behind Chandler) I am!
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Rachel: I know.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Rachel: Oh, I did!
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Monica: Yeah, I do know.
Rachel: Honey, Im sorry.
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Guy: (muffled) May I help you?
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Carl: I mean, come on, buddy, get a real car!
Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me.
Ross: Hi, Im selling Brown Bird cookies.
Chandler: Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.
Rachel: Yeah! Right! Okay, Ill see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?
Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!
Ross: I mean my God...
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
Ross: I would never do that!
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Ross: What am I going to do?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
CHANDLER: Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Chandler: (leaning in) Ill go.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
PHOE: Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on.
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
MRS. GREENE: ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]