words in movies
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Charity guy: May I help you?
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Ross: See, I told you!
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Laura: Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Laura: You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting?
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross: Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me.
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
Laura: I don't know... Well, maybe I'm wrong... I'm sorry...
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Rachel: Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one.
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Ross: I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.
MONICA: Do I know you?
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
ROSS: I, I just never think of money as an issue.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
Man: Really? Ive been dealing with Dr. Wells.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Flight Attendant: May I see your boarding pass?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
RACH: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.