words in movies
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Charity guy: May I help you?
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Ross: See, I told you!
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Laura: Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Laura: You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting?
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross: Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me.
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
Laura: I don't know... Well, maybe I'm wrong... I'm sorry...
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Rachel: Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one.
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Joey: Hey, I washed those!
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Joey: Oh wow, I dont feel well.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please?
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Rachel: I know. I know, but yknow condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me?
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Dr. Long: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I do need you! I need you to stand near my head!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: I know.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too.
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Monica: Do you still wanna call em? I wanna call em.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Joey: Oh I think we do.
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Kristen: I think its Tibidabo.
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Kristen: I love hiking!
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?