words in movies
Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; Im late for work.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Erin: Ohh, listen. Ive got to get going. Today was great, thanks!
Rachel: I know!
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Rachel: Oh and Ill call ya too!
Erin: Or Ill call you!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Rachel: Im sorry?
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Erin: Im sorry?
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Ross: Well I uh, I skipped forth grade.
Ross: I am very very sorry.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Monica: I dont feel good right now.
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: Yeah, I mean whatever.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: I know.
Ross: I dont think you do.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: I can come back.
Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, "No, I didnt!"
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Ross: Hey, Im not going to rush into anything!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Rachel: I know. I know. Ive feeling
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Rachel: Im sorry, what?
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Rachel: WellReally? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure you should be here when he comes up.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Gunther: So I guess Rachel had you baby?
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Ross: No I dont.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Joey: No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!
Ross: Im gonna go.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Joey: I said I didnt technically.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
Joey: Im sorry! It was a reflex!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Ross: I broke my thumb.
Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.
Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess. I-I I mean, do-do you think were ever gonna have that?
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.