words in movies
Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; Im late for work.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Erin: Ohh, listen. Ive got to get going. Today was great, thanks!
Rachel: I know!
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Rachel: Oh and Ill call ya too!
Erin: Or Ill call you!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Rachel: Im sorry?
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Erin: Im sorry?
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Ross: Well I uh, I skipped forth grade.
Ross: I am very very sorry.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Chandler: Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number.
Joey: Im telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
Monica: I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
Phoebe: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you�re okay. I�m so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
CHANDLER: Man, I am so beat.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped.
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly. Im having my brothers babies.
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for now. Yeah. I dont want to be over rehearsed.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Chandler: I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.