words in movies
Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; Im late for work.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Erin: Ohh, listen. Ive got to get going. Today was great, thanks!
Rachel: I know!
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Rachel: Oh and Ill call ya too!
Erin: Or Ill call you!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Rachel: Im sorry?
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
The Head Librarian: How can I help you?
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Erin: Im sorry?
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Ross: Well I uh, I skipped forth grade.
Ross: I am very very sorry.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandros.
Charlie: (laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs...
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. Im sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.
Phoebe: Hey Leslie, howd you know Id be here?
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I dont think that means anything.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Ticket Agent: Oh Im afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!
Chandler: (jumping up) Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three!
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Her friend: I don't know sweetie.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Joey: What, so I gotta shut it down now?
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Phoebe: (Excitedly) Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket.
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.