words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Phoebe: All right, Ill see you downstairs then.
Phoebe: Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Monica: I think we found a place.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
Cliff: Im 33.
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Ross: Just three?! Im dilated three!
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Sid: I still cant believe it! Im the luckiest guy in the world!
Rachel: I get it!
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Chandler: Well let me think about that, while I remove my pants!
Chandler: I think it's winning.
Cecilia: And guess what? Good news! I got another job!
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Cliff: I dont think so.
Cliff: And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy.
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Rachel: I cant!
Dr. Long: Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something.
Rachel: I cant. I cant push anymore, I cant.
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Katie: Oh umm, actually I umm
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
Ross: So I guess were back to uh, Baby Girl.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Rachel: "Im Monica, I dont get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uh
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Rachel: So uh I guess we should make it official huh?
Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack!
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Ross: What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?