words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Monica: I read to you.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"
Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Rachel: I know...
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Chandler: God, I love these fingers...
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Chandler: I know!
Tag: Someone I can spoil, yknow?
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Joey: (offended) Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Roger: Did I, uh, did I miss something?
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now
Monica: No, I havent.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
Chandler: Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, Im rich!
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.