words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Joey: Hey, I washed those!
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Joey: Oh wow, I dont feel well.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please?
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Rachel: I know. I know, but yknow condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me?
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Dr. Long: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I do need you! I need you to stand near my head!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: I know.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too.
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Monica: Do you still wanna call em? I wanna call em.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Joey: Oh I think we do.
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Kristen: I think its Tibidabo.
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Kristen: I love hiking!
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?