words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
CHANDLER: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . .
Monica: Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, (Laughs) but I still do.
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?
DUNCAN: Yeah, I know, I.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
Chandler: Im marrying her.
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Annabelle: I guess he doesn't know.
JOEY: I got time.
Ross: I dont know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. Ill go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
ROSS: Oh, no no, I am.
Chandler: Okay! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
ROSS: I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens.
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry.
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
ROSS: Man, I sure miss Julie.
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
ROSS: I know.
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
JADE: I got a little drunk...and naked.
Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information.
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
CHANDLER: You know, I think I might just.
Steve: I was just being polite, but, alright.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
RACHEL: Ok, I will have the uh, (whispers) side salad.
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Ross: I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.
MONICA: Do I know you?
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
ROSS: I, I just never think of money as an issue.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.