words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Peter: Were not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as Tony chases after him)
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Monica: Oh, yknow what, I cant, it really kills.
Kathy: No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Monica: Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Ms. Lambert: Hi, Im Karen.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Rachel: Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Kathy: No, I really did forget my purse.
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Ross: Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Monica: I know.
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Ross: I just wanna check something.
Tim: Where can I wash up?
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)
Tim: Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
MR. GREENE: I think I need a drink.
Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage.
Chandler: Oh yknow what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
Tim: Oh, I totally agree.
Monica: I know!
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Joey: I think I know that girl.
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Joey: Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Carol: All right, that's it. I want both of you out.
Rachel: Oh-hooo, I missed you.
Joey: Oh yeah, I definitely know her.
Chandler: No-no, I dont think you heard me. Are you ready to party?!
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Chip: Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want.
Kathy: No, I... I didn't mean the pen. Thank you for the book.
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Rachel: Well, I, umm
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Joey: All right, Ill see you guys.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Chandler: Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math.
Phoebe: It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.
Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.
Rachel: I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that.
Rachel: Yes, I realize that
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
Allesandro: Hey! Im proud of that sauce, its delicious.
Chandler: Well, yknow Im 29. I mean who needs a savings account.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.