words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
PHOE: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
RACH: That's what I said.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
RACH: Well, then, I guess that's the difference between us. See, I'd never make a list.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Elizabeth: Yeah, Ive been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandmas.
Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Yknow? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Ross: Okay. (sees two people sitting in their seats.) Uh, huh. Excuse me, Im sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Rachel: Im just making margaritas.
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Chandler: I dont know.
Chandler: Look, I can�t do this. I can�t make luv to you while we�re fighting this way.
Joey: I know.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Okay, dont be mad at me, but I couldnt resist.
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: Ohhhh, sorry I missed that.
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Im good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everythingare youare you perrr-perfect?!
Rachel: I mean you definitely should do that.
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Cailin: Ross, Im gonna go.
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Pete: Now, nooo! Im just excited about the restaurant, thats all.
Ross: Ahh, no, Im good.
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
Bonnie: Okay, Ill see you in a bit.
Rachel: (all mushy) Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. (they hug)
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Rachel: I dont know.
Rachel: I feel...
Rachel: I just, I feel, I-I just...
Joey: But I made cards!!
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? Cause I thought death was something thats supposed to be sad, in a way.
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Chandler: Hi, my names Chandler. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if you would be interested in battling me in a post-apoplectic world for control of the galaxies last remaining energy source?
EDDIE: [enters] Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Ross: I know.
Rachel: I dont know.
Ross: Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Rachel: (throws her stuff down) I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Phoebe: I dont even know how that would work!
Chandler: Im sorry, Im sorry, it just seems that Robert isnt as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped.
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
Monica: I dont know exactly. Its-its sorta like wrestling.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Rachel: I wrote you a letter.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.
Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Joey: I know! Thats why they trashed me!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
Ross: Im sorry.
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Ross: Oh, sure! Im sure.
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.
Monica: Nothing, I dont know.
Rachel: I can not believe your trading me!!
Monica: Nothing. Im gonna take a shower.
Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: I, umm, shut up!
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Monica: I was in too much pain.
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Phoebe Sr.: Yeah, I guess youre right.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?