words in movies
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Rachel: I haven't seen you in like.. a year.
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby.
Amy: I decorated Dad's office.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Monica: I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones.
Joey: I.. I.. I need a good lie.
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: I do not.
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Ross: You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Joey: I can't believe I won.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Joey: I lie better then that, right?
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Rachel: Heey man, I work out.
Amy: So do I.
Rachel: I do pilates.
Amy: I do yoga.
Amy: Uh, yeah I think I did.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
Monica: uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Joey: I took a shot.
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
FBOB: I think you may have a drinking problem.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Joey: Okay, good, good, good, cause, good, cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
Monica: I do?
Chip: You know where I work!
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Monica: Thanks, Im set. Do you still live with your parents?
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Monica: Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school.
Monica: I know!
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
Rachel: Oh honey, Im sorry.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Rachel: Im sorry, sweetie. (shows her the flyer)
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: I dont know what to say.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldnt tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Rachel: Ill go with you.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom) How desperate am I?
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Monica: Yeah, I thought it was cute.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt hear that.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Rachel: Monica! I couldnt find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
Frank: Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone?
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Monica: I dont want things to change! Do you?
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Phoebe: Im kind, caring, and sweet. Whats Monica like?
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Phoebe: I dont get it.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Phoebe: God, I hope they kick his ass!
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Joanna: I cant!!
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Rachel: Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Monica: I dont know. I guess the other people just dont care enough.
MONICA: Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.
Joey: Im out.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Rachel: Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasnt a chair.
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Im, Im paddling away!
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: Im sorry Dutch, I didnt get that last little bit.
Chandler: I think so.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!