words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . .
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda.
Phoebe: No, I want this to happen.
Chandler: So do I.
Phoebe: Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!
Rachel: Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-ifare you sure there's just not anything else?
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Frank Sr.: All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you.
Katie: Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.
Ross: I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
Steve: Oh, okay, I get it. (Starts to leave.)
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah. I really like his glasses.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Rachel: Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
Rachel: Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle?
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Monica: Well, I guess we won't be warming his house.
Monica: Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!!
Monica: Oh and you know what I want!
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Chandler: Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
Rachel: Whatyeahwhat, yknow what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Chandler: I need to talk to you, it's urgent!
Ross: Oh wow, yeah! See, I did not get that.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Chandler: I didn't think I was!
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Ross: Hey, I thought I cheered you up.
Ross: No, I will not!
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Monica: I know.
Dream Monica: Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!
Dream Monica: Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Dream Joey: I love you too.
Rachel: Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge.
Joey: Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Ross: Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place!
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Monica: Are you saying I smell bad?
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
The Salesman: Well you, her, I mean, she's very y'know. And you're like y'know.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Emily: So how are you? Ive been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, Ive been rather busy.
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
Ross: No wait, look. Look! I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. I-I mean I don't know Howard.
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.