words in movies
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Ross: Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldnt stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so
Phoebe: I love it!!
Phoebe: Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!
Phoebe: Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present Ive ever gotten.
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
The Knocker: My name is Gary, I live upstairs.
Gary: So, can I get some candy?
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Gary: Well okay, Ill swing by later. Do you live in this building?
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Rachel: Im thinkin no.
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Ross: Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and youll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready Set
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Ross: I swear!
Ross: I-I just thought you were doing so well. I
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: (entering) Look, I-Im really sorry I let go of the bike.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Ross: I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Tag: (interrupting again) Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny.
Tag: (pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and Im kinda strangely proud of my butt.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Benjamin: Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Monica: But I want to.
Rachel: But I don't want you to.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Rachel: But I insist harder!
Monica: But I insist!
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Ross: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Chandler: (now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
Chandler: What did I just say?
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again)
Rachel: I want Gladys!
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Phoebe: I knew it!
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Benjamin: I love you!
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
Benjamin: You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur".
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Charity guy: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Ross: See, I told you!
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Part I Written by: Greg Malins Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.