words in movies
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Ross: Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldnt stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so
Phoebe: I love it!!
Phoebe: Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!
Phoebe: Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present Ive ever gotten.
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
The Knocker: My name is Gary, I live upstairs.
Gary: So, can I get some candy?
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Gary: Well okay, Ill swing by later. Do you live in this building?
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Rachel: Im thinkin no.
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Ross: Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and youll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready Set
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Ross: I swear!
Ross: I-I just thought you were doing so well. I
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: (entering) Look, I-Im really sorry I let go of the bike.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Ross: I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Tag: (interrupting again) Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny.
Tag: (pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and Im kinda strangely proud of my butt.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
Rachel: "Oh my God, I cant find a boyfriend! So I guess Ill just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things.
ROSS: [in a childish voice] I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
EDDIE: I heard that.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Part I Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Parts I and II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
ROSS: I am your friend.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
ROSS: Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
Eric: I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! Shes not a teacher. Theres not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
MONICA: I wa-
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Ross: Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. (lays down cards)
Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
CHANDLER: Oh, I couldn't be happier.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
JOEY: I went.
JOEY: I didn't get it.
Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable?
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
JOEY: I can't watch this.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.
Mr. Treeger: Ive looked everywhere. Theres no gas leak.
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
ROSS: I didn't get a cat.
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: I know I would.
CHANDLER: May I help you?
CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
EDDIE: No he, he moved out and I moved in.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.
RACH: Hi, I'm sorry, I need to borrow your phone for just one minute.
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Chandler: How do you feel about the, "I really did forgot the present, please forgive me" not fake out?
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
Ross: I... ahem... I really don't think so.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.