words in movies
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: Im gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Chandler: I have no idea.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Ross: Oh! Man I dont think Ive seen you since uh, Lance Davis graduation party.
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Will: I dont know? Do I? Do I?
Phoebe: I think you do.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Monica: Hmm, a little relieved, I gotta say.
Ross: Look Rach I-Im sorry, okay? I I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Joey: Im afraid Im gonna need proof.
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: I wanna join!
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandros.
Ross: Excuse me. Hi, Im a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
Charlie: (laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs...
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. Im sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.
Phoebe: Hey Leslie, howd you know Id be here?
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
Gunther: Okay, Ill see you in an hour.
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I dont think that means anything.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Ticket Agent: Oh Im afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Chandler: I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me.
Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!
Chandler: (jumping up) Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three!
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Her friend: I don't know sweetie.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Joey: What, so I gotta shut it down now?
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Phoebe: (Excitedly) Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket.
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Rachel: Yeah but how do I start? I mean, whats-whats the first thing that I say? (They all pause to think.) Okay great! Thanks. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?