words in movies
Gunther: What if you put them here. (sets the empty tray on another stack of empty trays on the back counter.)
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Sarah: Could you do me one favor, if its not too much trouble?
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted too.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Ross: Mind if I mute?
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya...
Chandler: If I see him, Ill ask.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Ross: No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?
Joey: (laughing) Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go!
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Monica: Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if youre horrible, how would I know?
Joey: Ross! Ross! If youre going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.)
Eric: Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who eats lunch.
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Wayne: Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Hooker: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Phoebe: Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Monica: Hey, I couldve had you if I wanted you.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Rachel: Yeah, if youre going to do the ears, you might as well take a pass at the nosal area.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Ross: I know if you were getting married Id feel, kinda .. yknow.
Chandler: If that.
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Monica: I swear, if you try it, you will love it!
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.