words in movies
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit!
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Hooker: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Phoebe: Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Monica: Hey, I couldve had you if I wanted you.
Chandler: Ooh, I dont know if were there yet.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Rachel: Yeah, if youre going to do the ears, you might as well take a pass at the nosal area.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Ross: I know if you were getting married Id feel, kinda .. yknow.
Chandler: If that.
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Rachel: But only if its a girl.
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
Monica: I swear, if you try it, you will love it!
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, Ill wear the boots. In fact, Ill go into my room right now and yknow try the outfit on.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.