words in movies
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Wayne: Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do.
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Benjamin: If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking!
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Rachel: If you hold a spider.
Rachel: IF you hold a spider.
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
Joey: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Dr. Long: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you dont know what they are, but shes fine.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Roy: Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Chandler: (angrily) Look, if you did...
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Chandler: Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Chandler: You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya?
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.
Rachel: Ok. If you really need to.
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Phoebe: Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. "je".
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Chandler: Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father?
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Ross: Uhm, well... I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back.
Ross: So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Chandler: That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Chandler: Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.