words in movies
(there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring)
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall!
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Joey: (long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller!
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Ross: Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head.
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Ross: No-no, it's not that, it's just I-I just moved in.
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: You chipped in?!
Chandler: Arghhhhhh!! (Joey turns around to taunt him, but Chandler is in the doorway and Joey is facing the kitchen.)
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Ohh, you're so sweet! (She kicks Katie in the shin.)
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Alice: (running in from the elevator) Am I too late?!
Ross: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
Joey: All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Monica: (screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth)
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Monica: Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Mr. Zelner: Come on in.
ERICA: Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Ross: I had just moved in. Thank you! Listen umm
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Chandler: You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Joey: Whoa-whoa dad? There's a dad in the commercial?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Chandler: Oh, hey! (Ross nods in agreement as well.)
Joey: Hey! I'm in, they're gonna let me audition!
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Doug: says $30 Father; same as in town.
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
["Looks Like We Made It" starts playing and we enter a whole sequence of Marcel and Ross having fun in the city.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.]
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Joey: (in pain) Doesn't work... (he falls down on on his knees with his head on the floor)
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
Grandma Tribbiani: (Something in Italian to Joey.)
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the sex?
Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Ross: They put that in.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.