words in movies
(there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring)
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall!
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Joey: (long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller!
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Ross: Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head.
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Gunther: Your muffins. (Sets down a huge plate of muffins in front of Joey.)
Ross: Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh"
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
The Interviewer: Okay, how about when youre not working. What do you do in your spare time?
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Monica: I dont believe in soul mates either.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Monica are standing in the kitchen.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Eric: And we were both in the Peace Corps.
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Monica: Star in a movie.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: In a minute!!!
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
<Joey nods in agreement>
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
(They run off in search of a bed.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
Phoebe: Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first.
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
Ross: Uh well umm were just not in that place, yknow? But were very excited about this.
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Joey: Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
CHAN: Guess who's back in show business.
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?