words in movies
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
(Monica puts some change in Phoebe's bucket.)
Monica: Yeah. I guess. (She puts more money in the bucket.)
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Monica: All the time. In fact, I was undefeated.
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Chandler: Oh hey! There's some kids playing in the street, you wanna go down there and give them a project, ruin their day?
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Joey: (jumping in triumph) OH YES!!!!!
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
[cut to later in the game]
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Ross: Okay. (sees two people sitting in their seats.) Uh, huh. Excuse me, Im sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats.
(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe Sr: Then don't break in!!
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
Monica: (screaming in pain) Ow!! Ow!!!
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Monica: I was in too much pain.
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
(Joey howls in pain and holds his eye.)
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Ken: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Rachel: You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Commercial: (in the background their singing Smelly Cat) Problem odour in the litter box? Dont change your kitty, change your kitty litter.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Chandler: SoYou got in voluntarily?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Rachel: Gotta go! (Opens the door to a boy in a cape.) Hi! Wow! There you go! (Hands him some candy.)
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
MR. GREENE: No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks.
All: Wow!! (they all recoil in shock and horror)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
[cut to Monica cleaning the floor in the kitchen]
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
MR. TREEGER: He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Chandler: You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.
(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)
Steve (sobbing): I - I can't believe I�m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic.