words in movies
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
(Monica puts some change in Phoebe's bucket.)
Monica: Yeah. I guess. (She puts more money in the bucket.)
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Monica: All the time. In fact, I was undefeated.
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait a minute, open up your hand; let me take a look. (The lady opens up her hand.) Quarter. Dime. Lint? Not interested in that. (She throws the lint away.) What's this? A Canadian coin? Get outta here! (The lady walks away.)
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Chandler: Oh hey! There's some kids playing in the street, you wanna go down there and give them a project, ruin their day?
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
All: Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Joey: "When can you move in?"
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Joey: (in a bored voice) PBS telethon.
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]
Carol: Can I ask whatCome on in.
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
[Monica tries to come in]
Chandler: Okay, is this lamp in the same place?
Chandler: (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?
Janine: Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that.
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
Bonnie: Okay, Ill see you in a bit.
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Monica: Yknow, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Ross: I dont know what Im going to do. That date starts in like an hour.
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Chandler: Theyre in my bag over there. (Points.)
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Monica: So look umm, while were st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Youre the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?!
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Steve: (looking in cabinets) Hey! Sugar-O's! (grabs the cereal box)
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.