words in movies
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.
CHANDLER: [singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
MRS GREEN: So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job?
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
RACHEL: Oh! What's new in sex?
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
MONICA: All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move!
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
CHANDLER: Isn't Ben in this?
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
(Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)
(Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma)
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
(A blonde woman walks in. Supposedly Amanda)
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Rachel: I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in.
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: No, that landed in your food!
Chandler:(In a sarcastic "of course not"!-tone) No!
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Ross: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Rachel: Well, I like the pretty little drawing of you in the wedding dress.
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Parker: Isnt this the most incredible fight youve ever had in your entire life?
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Chandler: Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are sitting in their living room when the phone rings.]
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth!
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Monica: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Joey: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.)
SECURITY GUARD: Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper.
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
[time lapse – they are still in the hall]
Ross: Well, let's just go in there and face them.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Dr. Rhodes: He's good with rear things, bring him in too.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
(The phone rings in Chandler and Monica's apartment)
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!