words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Phoebe: Embryossss? As in, "More than one?"
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Rachel: Oh, I think I saw some in here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
(The phone rings in Chandler and Monica's apartment)
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Phoebe: Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here.
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Monica: And a lot could still get in our way.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Agency guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica.
Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.]
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first yknow roommate bonding thing.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you!
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom.
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Chandler: Totally. I had sex in High school...
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Rachel: So maybe something in an office.
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.]
The Hot Girl: No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in.
Mike's father: Who in God's name are you?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Chandler: No, Im not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Monica: She's in her room, why?
Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES!
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
(Mike walks in.)
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
(Joey walks in)
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!