words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Ross: Hey, what are you doing shopping at eight in the morning?
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Phoebe: Embryossss? As in, "More than one?"
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Rachel: Oh, I think I saw some in here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But yknow you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!
(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Ticket Agent: Congratulations. Okay, Mr. Bing youll be in 25J and Mrs. Bing youll be in 25K.
Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Mr. Treeger: You said there was a gas leak in here.
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Monica: Well do something! Get in there!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Phoebe: Come on in!
[Scene: The Reception Hall, the party is in full swing.]
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney is dancing in the fat suit and after shaking her groove thing sits down in exhaustion.]
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Joey: What? You werent in it.
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Chandler: Well that puts me in a difficult position.
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Rachel: Oh you did, there are twenty in here.
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Joey: Hmmm, soup! (Tries again.) Hmm soup! (Tries again, with a little caveman thrown in.) Hmm, soup!
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Ross: Oh thats right. Well uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Boy in the Cape: This isnt fair.
Boy in the Cape: Id rather have the money.
Monica: (bursting in) I knew it!! Yknow, youre not so quiet yourself, missy!
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Bitsy: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends?
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Boy in the Cape: Shut up!
Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?
Boy in the Cape: Youre a mean old woman. (Runs away.)
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.