words in movies
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?
Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
Rachel: Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner?
ROSS: Pop it in.
CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
...My mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar, And sometimes when it's breezy...
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Lecturer: ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now.
JULIE: Well, in a nutshell. . .
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
Joey: In a carriage!
Ross: Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?!
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
Young Ethan: Oh, I'm a senior... in High School.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
[Phoebe drives up in the cab]