words in movies
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?
Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Monica: Rach, youre in a great place in your life. Come on, youve got a great job! Good friends
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Monica: The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
Chandler: Well, lets just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Theodore: OH! OWWWWW! (Theodore grabs his stomach in agony)
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Ross: God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Joey: See you in 2003. (She walks away.)
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You dont want to lose that.
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
Joey: (notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: (from the bedroom) Dont come in here!
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Monica: In case it happens.
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
Morse: Im in love with you.
Morse: Well maybe you can cut me some slack. Im sort of in love.
Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.]
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Lewis: Because Im in love with you.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
Joey: No. No, Im Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-Im the guy in the coma!
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Rachel: Ill be out in a second.
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!!
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like