words in movies
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?
Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.
Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Rachel: Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
Mr. Zelner: Please, come in. Have a seat. (She does so.)
Chandler: In the James Taylor case.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Gunther: Your muffins. (Sets down a huge plate of muffins in front of Joey.)
Ross: Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh"
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Chandler: Okay, a little problem. The key broke in the lock and I cant get in!
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
The Interviewer: Okay, how about when youre not working. What do you do in your spare time?
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Monica: I dont believe in soul mates either.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Monica are standing in the kitchen.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Eric: And we were both in the Peace Corps.
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Monica: Star in a movie.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Rachel: In a minute!!!
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
<Joey nods in agreement>
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
(They run off in search of a bed.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?