words in movies
[Chandler and Joey come sprinting in]
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.
MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in.
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.]
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
Young Ethan: Oh, I'm a senior... in High School.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
[Phoebe drives up in the cab]
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
[Everyone looks at each other in amazement.]
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
[Russ enters, walking in behind Chandler.]
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
FBOB: So the light went out in my refrigerator...
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
RACHEL: Oh! What's new in sex?
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.