words in movies
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
Ross: In the death seat?!!
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Joey: Oh yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink laceys.
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! Youre an ezel!
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Monica: (notices something in the window) Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Tag: And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night.
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Ross: Okay. (Swallows hard.) Hop on Gert. (She does and Ross winces in pain.)
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Chandler: In London?
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Dr. Long: Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Chandler: Im in the bathtub.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Phoebe: Were in the bathroom!
Joey: (entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah!
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy.
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Monica: No reason. I-I keep private things in there.
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.