words in movies
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: how about I move in with you?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Lets discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: No, Im not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Chandler: In the game room!
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Monica: What were you doing in Africa?
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Monica: We all chipped in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds. All right, were gonna destroy you.
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
(Max runs in)
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Chandler and Joey: He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego.
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Teacher: You in the back, you're getting it all wrong!
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
All: (in the kitchen) What?
Dick Clark: (on TV) In twenty seconds it'll be midnight...
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
CHAN: I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Phoebe: I'm in.
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Ross: Well... not in the same way...
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Ross: Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clocks a little fast, uh, we have 17 minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice?
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Carol: Hey hey, come on in!
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
(Marcel is put in a cage and taken away.)
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh, c'mon in.
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?