words in movies
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Rachel: how about I move in with you?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didnt tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Lets discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: No, Im not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Chandler: In the game room!
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Rachel: Yeah. Yknow umm, uh, umm, about that, umm, Ross I really appreciate your offer to let me move in and everything, but dont you think its gonna be weird?
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Ross: No, I-I-Im serious, okay? I mean, think about it. You move in, you start fighting over stupid game rooms, next thing yknow you break up!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
(Chandler walks in)
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Chandler: So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Chandler: Hey! Wow! You look great! Wanna move in with me tomorrow?
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
(Phoebe and David walk in)
Chandler: We got some Vap-O-Rub in some places.
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
(Rachel runs in)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
[Scene: Paradise Hotel lounge in Barbados]
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.
Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours!
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
[Time Lapse: Rachel is returning from chasing down the boy in the cape.]
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
Frank Jr.: I haven't slept in four years!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and it does sound like something I would do.
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(Owen comes running in.)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
(Joey walks in)
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)