words in movies
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
The Teacher: What do you think? You in the blue shirt.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
(He sits down in the wet paint again.)
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Barry: C'mon in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Carol: As in my grandmother.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Monica: (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
CHANDLER: [to an extra in fatigues] Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Receptionist: Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.