words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Phoebe: It is.
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Rachel: Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.
[Scene: The Reception Hall, the party is in full swing.]
Monica: Oh that is so sweet!
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats fine. Thats fair. Is it Tag?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Mrs. Bing: Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.
[Time lapse. The band is finishing another song.]
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is putting tape on the bottom of his shoes.]
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Monica: This is so huge.
Monica: Of course not nothing is. Between me and you
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Phoebe: See? This is why you register.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Time Lapse, the interrupted song is finishing.]
Mona: So, is it my turn now?
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Mona: That is so sweet!
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
Mr. Zelner: That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.
Chandler: Oh that is over!
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: I know. My arm is killing me.
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Chandler: (wincing) Yes, he is!
Gunther: (To Ross) Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is talking to his students.]
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Monica: No it is not!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Ross: Is that so?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Ross: I think the check in is that way. (Points)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Chandler: Okay, what is in here? Rocks?
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Pick a number! That is your only job!
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Pete: Ah, which ever is closest.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!