words in movies
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
[Scene: Sarahs bedroom, her room is decorated with a space motif.]
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
Monica: Oh honey, is that cause your Mom died around Christmas?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever.
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving her last cup of coffee.]
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and theyre not speaking right now.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Rachel: Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Chandler: What is it?
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
[Scene: The Doctors Office, the doctor is writing something as Rachel is on the table, and Ross is standing.]
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
[Scene: Rachel and Joeys, Joey is sitting on his recliner as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Doctor: Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is putting tape on the bottom of his shoes.]
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Ticket Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the boarding call for Flight 009.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Rachel: Who is it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Joey: So but everything is normal.
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Phoebe: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Phoebe: Joey, I just think youre getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Phoebe is giving Monica another massage.]
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Ross: What is it?
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, theres Danny. Watch. Just watch this. (He walks past the couch to the counter.) See?! Still pretending hes not interested. Ohh, hes coming over. Just pretend like we dont know him. Weve forgotten who he is.
[Scene: Joey and wait just Joeys. Joey is sitting at the counter eating a pizza.]
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Rachel: I accidentally packed these with my stuff. (looks at the dog and gasps) Who is this?
Monica: What is it?
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
(There is a knock on the door.)
Mona: Seriously, what is she doing?
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Rachel: Why? You saw it? Is it scary?
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Chandler: And look how happy the mom is now!
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
[Chandler proceeds to point out Joeys errors in this forth set of flashbacks. The first flashback is from The One With The Cat. Chandler has just returned home to see that their apartment has been cleaned out and finds Joey trapped in the entertainment center.]
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Ross: Cmon! Joey! What is it?
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?