words in movies
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
[Scene: The hallway of Rosss building, there is a Brown Bird girl selling cookies, as Ross and Chandler come up the stairs.]
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
[Scene: Sarahs bedroom, her room is decorated with a space motif.]
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
Monica: Oh honey, is that cause your Mom died around Christmas?
[Scene: A Brown Bird meeting, Ross is there with the other Brown Birds to see who won the contest.]
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever.
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving her last cup of coffee.]
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?!
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Jamie: What is this place?
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Monica: (furious) That's it! Dinner is over!
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Susan: What is, honey?
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]
Chandler: There it is! So what're you gonna do?
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Ursula: He is? Why?
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Jamie: All we want is two Caffe Lattes.
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Ross: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
[Scene: Chandler's Office, later that day, Nina is in his office.]
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Phoebe: Is he alright?
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Monica: What is it?
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.