words in movies
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Frank: See the thing is umm, were not able to yknow, uh, conceive.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
(The gang is stunned.)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
Monica: Then what is it?
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Joey: Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Tour Guide: Thats just the way it is.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Tour Guide: Op, this is saved. (Joey wonders why) Gift shop.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Rachel: Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Monica: Why is it sick?
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Rachel: Is he okay in there?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Chandler: (He is now in the box, in their living room.) Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Monica: All right everybody, this turkey is ready!
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
[Thus starts another series of flashbacks all dealing with the pressure the rest of the Friends have to deal with in their jobs. The first flashback is from The One With The Stoned Guy.]
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
[Cut to Central Perk, the entire gang is there.]
Chandler: Man, this is
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, the gang is all there watching Chandler.]
Kathy: No, but this wonder broom is amazing!
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Rachel: Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Amanda: Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
The Conductor: Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal.
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
Monica: Yknow all my friends think this is weird.
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Rachel: Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis.
Monica: What is it?!
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]