words in movies
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Frank: See the thing is umm, were not able to yknow, uh, conceive.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
(The gang is stunned.)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
Monica: Then what is it?
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Joey: Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Tour Guide: Thats just the way it is.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Tour Guide: Op, this is saved. (Joey wonders why) Gift shop.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Joey: What the hell is that?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: What else is new?
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Rachel: What is?
Bitsy: Is he really?
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
[Scene: The Reception Hall, the party is in full swing.]
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Kristen: Umm, this is great wine.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Really? Wow, this is so much better than I
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Chandler: Jenny! That is so Jenny!
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?
Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?
Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Chandler: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
Tim: I got your page, is everything okay?
[Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.]
Ross: Guess whose middle name is Muriel.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Chandler: How is that me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)