words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Chandler: How is that me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Monica: (laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Joey: She is?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Ross: Hi. How is she?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
ROSS: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: What is this?
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Rachel: ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that (in a deep voice, mocking Ross) what's in the inside is important...
Chandler: Youre right, this is more fun.
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Monica: Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is opening the door to Mona. Rachel is there as well.]
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: She is?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Monica: Is your team winning hon?
Monica: This is Phoebe.
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Is there a problem?
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]