words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Jen: Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Rachel: It is? Really?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
Ross: (continuing) " subcategories. The first of these subcategories is "
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is painting her toe nails as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
Chandler: That is true.
Rachel: This is totally your fault!
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Rachel: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
Monica: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
Monica: Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together.
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]