words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering from the bedroom carrying two bags of luggage.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Phoebe: And! Yknow what Jake says? That womens underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Policeman: This is a great picture.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Joey: Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler.
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
[The next one is from Episode 711: The One With All the Cheesecakes.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: What is that?
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Phoebe: Then yes that is what Im having. (Takes another puff of the cigarette.)
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Catherine: Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa.....
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is eating breakfast as Rachel enters having just woken up.]
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.]
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Ross: Huh. This is nice.
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Courtney: It is one of those days!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely.
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
Rachel: Okay. NowWhat is my first line?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?