words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Ross: Phoebe hes right, that is the rule.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goodys sale is over?!
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what is it?
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is running up to meet David.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Joey: This is your place?
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Monica: I know it is the best.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel's surprise party. The apartment is festooned with cups. There are cups everywhere! Cup centerpiece, cup garland, etc., etc]
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is running up the stairs. Note: This show continues where the last one left off.]
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from her interview attempt.]
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're talking about how this is going to work.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
Joey: I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking]
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Monica: All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Phoebe: This is so cool!
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Chandler: (smiling) Well, what is it?
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Monica: Yeah, what is it?
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
(Ross's vigorous protest is attracting attention.)
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?