words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Ross: Phoebe hes right, that is the rule.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goodys sale is over?!
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what is it?
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is running up to meet David.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
[Scene Central Perk, the whole gang is entering]
Rachel: Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Joey: This is Janice.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is entering from the bathroom.]
Monica: God, what is wrong with me.
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?
Ross: She is a kook.
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
RACH: Oh God, even his knock is boring.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Ross: No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Rachel: Well, why do yknow go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?
Joey: How is this your seat?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Joey: I know. (Joey is sitting in this tall chair that is made up of balls on polls. Youll have to see it to know what I mean.) Yeah, his name is Pat.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Chandler: Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Joey: Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school?
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]
Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Ross: There it is.
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Ross: Aww, is it broken?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Mike: And there is Kevin.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Joey: How is it you?
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
JO LYNN: This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)