words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....?
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Ross: (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: No. Is there anyway, anyway you think hell understand this?
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Monica: Why is it sick?
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Rachel: Is he okay in there?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Chandler: (He is now in the box, in their living room.) Sounds like a really bad idea to me.
Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Monica: All right everybody, this turkey is ready!
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
[Thus starts another series of flashbacks all dealing with the pressure the rest of the Friends have to deal with in their jobs. The first flashback is from The One With The Stoned Guy.]
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
[Cut to Central Perk, the entire gang is there.]
Chandler: Man, this is
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, the gang is all there watching Chandler.]
Kathy: No, but this wonder broom is amazing!
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Ross: Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Rachel: Yeah, so what is she, like a... like a spokesmodel, or an aerobics instructor, what?
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, Carol is waiting.]
Chandler: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Amanda: Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]