words in movies
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joey: What the heck is that?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Ross: This is beautiful!
Chandler: She is now.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
(There is a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica is trying to return her bed.]
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
Chandler: What is the thing?
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
ROSS: This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[Russ enters Central Perk. He looks like Ross, except for his chin and hair (it is David Schwimmer in a dual role).]
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.
RACH: What? What is so strange about me having a date?
Rachel: (softly) Is he here?
Ross: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
[Scene: The Park, the gang is warming up for their football game.]
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross is eagerly waiting for the others to get ready, to go to the hospital.]
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Ross: Oh really! Why is that?
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Ross: That cup is mine!
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Margha: Im sorry, Joey, that is my chose.
Man: Marc Coreger, this is my wife Julie.
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.]
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK.
Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever.
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?