words in movies
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Ross: Yknow what, I dont know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Chandler: Well, that is what happened, and I dont even see you denying this!
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joey: What the heck is that?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Ross: This is beautiful!
Chandler: She is now.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Rachel: Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room!
Monica: What is with you?
Chandler: That is the exact same thing.
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
(Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner)
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Rachel: (annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long?
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments!
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.]
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (we see Ross stare in disbelief)
[Scene: Back at the restaurant with Joey and Sarah. Joey is holding Sarah's hands]
Ross: Yeah, yeah! (they hug) You sure this is what you want?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Monica: How is that gonna happen?
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Mr Zelner: She is good!
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: (realizing) That is Mark?
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Phoebe: Because patience is the road to understanding (she thinks) which ... is the key... to a happy heart.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
r Zelner: Who is it?
Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.
Mr Zelner: This is gonna make me very popular.
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
[Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.]
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.]
[Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
MRS. GREENE: You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Ross: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Ross: Here she is!
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair and Duncan enters.]
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]