words in movies
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)
(Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)
Rachel: (annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long?
Ross: (realizing) That is Mark?
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Chandler: Okay, what is in here? Rocks?
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Pick a number! That is your only job!
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Pete: Ah, which ever is closest.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Monica: This is insane!
Joey: Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Joey: Where is the waitress?! Im starving!
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
[The next clip is from The One With The East German Laundry Detergent.]
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Hitchhiker: Wait! Wait! There is the train station!
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
[Scene: The hallway, Chandler is helping Monica to the door.]
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Chandler: This is not a sign!
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
Chandler: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Rachel: She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket!
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Jen: Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Rachel: It is? Really?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
[Cut to the hallway outside the room, Ross is going to see which table hes at and sees a beautiful woman doing the same thing.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
Ross: (continuing) " subcategories. The first of these subcategories is "
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
Chandler: Now, is that never talking about it again?!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?