words in movies
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)
(Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)
Rachel: (annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long?
Ross: (realizing) That is Mark?
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!
Chandler: Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Phoebe: There it is!
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
[Scene Barry's office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Is there somebody else?
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joanne: C'mon, this is us.
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
(Phoebe is outside, taking her cell phone out of her bag and making a call. Joey is inside, and his mobile phone starts ringing).
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Rachel: He is so cute!
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Rachel: So, whaddya think George is like?
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?
Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Chandler: You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and youre still gonna date him?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but Rachel is standing and looking into the window.]
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Bob: Monica, Monica is great.
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Rachel: What is it?
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Aurora: Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Rachel: Who is being loud?
Monica: I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]