words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Ross: What is it?
[Scene: Joey and wait just Joeys. Joey is sitting at the counter eating a pizza.]
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Rachel: I accidentally packed these with my stuff. (looks at the dog and gasps) Who is this?
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: What is it?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is laying on his recliner, depressed, and the dog is laying on the footrest.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
(There is a knock on the door.)
Mona: Seriously, what is she doing?
Mona: No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why dont you go back to your place and give us some privacy?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Chandler: Okay. Now all weve got to do is get rid of this chair.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Rachel: Why? You saw it? Is it scary?
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Chandler: And look how happy the mom is now!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Ross: Cmon! Joey! What is it?
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Ross: Okay. Um is he a good guy?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
The Conductor: Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal.
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
(The gang is stunned.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Monica: Then what is it?
Ross: That is really nice lying! No way is that the reason!
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Tour Guide: Thats just the way it is.
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Yknow all my friends think this is weird.
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Rachel: Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis.
Monica: What is it?!
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
MRS GREEN: I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Allesandro: Well our service is not grossly incompetent.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: This is beautiful!
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: She is now.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is asleep and snoring loudly. Chandler enters wondering who left their engine running.]
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Pete: Okay, I love you. Is that so bad?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: What the heck is that?
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Rachel: Ohh! (Realises that Ross is in the room.) Hi!
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Rachel: What? Who the hell is Emily(realises) noooo!!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Joey: And there it is.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)