words in movies
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: (holding a pair of furry handcuffs) What the hell is this?
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Ross: Here she is!
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
(Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.)
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
ERICA: Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.]
JOEY: It certainly is a miracle.
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
MONICA: God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck.
MONICA: Wow, is that Michelle?
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
[Flashback to 710 - TOW The Holiday Armadillo] [Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
CHANDLER: Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
FRIEND: Yeah, is she really 20.
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
ROSS: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of stars next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?
MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: It is Judy.
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
MONICA: Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age.
JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
MONICA: Art it is.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
RACHEL: Yeah well, you know what, so is uh, Sorentino's.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
MICH: Is this guy, uhh, an old boyfriend?
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
RACHEL: Yes it is.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part?
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
PHOE: OK, noone is named Sleeve.
Rachel: I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.
Rachel: That is the sweetest thing, I just....
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
Ross: Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major!
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
CHAN: It's alright. Is she good-looking?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Everyone is outside knocking.]