words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Water it is.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Ben: Sharing is good.
Monica: That is true.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Phoebe: What is it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Joey: This is crazy.
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
(David the scientist guy is standing at the news-stand)
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing as Leslie enters.]
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Monica: Why, how much is that?
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Monica: Oh, this is so great.
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
[Scene: A street, Chandler is kissing Ginger.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is telling Chandler about Kate.]
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Ross: Is this about Mark?
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Joey: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Phoebe: Ahh, his work is done.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Host: This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca...
[Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...