words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Water it is.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Ben: Sharing is good.
Monica: That is true.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Phoebe: What is it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Joey: This is crazy.
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Gunther: Rachel is my girlfriend.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Rachel: This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
Frank: See the thing is umm, were not able to yknow, uh, conceive.
Ross: What-what is love really?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Rachel: Oh wow! This is so cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out?
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Phoebe: Oh, that is better.
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Rachel: Wow! This place is fabulous!
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is attempting his pre-emptive strike.]
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Monica: This is so much fun!
Ross: This is not fun!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: Oh, this life! Oh okay no, Chandler's is worse.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Chandler: Where is Emily?
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Garbage room: Mr. Treeger is unclogging the trash chute as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Phoebe: This is great!
Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
(The gang is stunned.)
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]