words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Water it is.
Chandler: Guys thank you very much but neither of you is marrying us.
Ben: Sharing is good.
Monica: That is true.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Phoebe: What is it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Cut to London, Chandlers hotel room. He is getting ready for bed by doing push-ups. One push-up. Just as he gets under the covers, theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Joey: This is crazy.
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Host: This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca...
[Scene: Phoebe's grandmother's place. Phoebe's grandmother is sitting at the table, reading the obituaries, and crossing out names in the phonebook.]
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: What time is it?
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, its like all Im doing is running back and forth from the huddle.
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Phoebe: Vince is a fireman.
Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
Joey: Well what is it?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
Chandler: Well sensitive is important, pick him.
(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?