words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Joey: How is this your seat?
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Joey: Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Ross: Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.'
Chandler: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Chandler: How is that me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Bob is ransacking Chandlers office.]
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Really? You think thats all it is?
Monica: (laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Joey: She is?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Ross: Hi. How is she?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
ROSS: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
Ross: Could ya just, could ya just lay off, please? All right? My life is an embarrassment! I should go live under somebodys stairs!
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: What is this?
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Rachel: ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that (in a deep voice, mocking Ross) what's in the inside is important...
Chandler: Youre right, this is more fun.
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
[Scene 13: Central Perk, the gang is gathered around Monica comforting her brother, who in a slight state of shock is cuddling a cushion for security.]
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Monica: Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is opening the door to Mona. Rachel is there as well.]
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Chandler: No! Ok, this is not good. You are a guy. Ok? This is a guys place. If you let this go, youre going to be sitting around with your fingers soaking in stuff.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: She is?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Monica: Is your team winning hon?
Monica: This is Phoebe.
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: Is there a problem?
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?