words in movies
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Phoebe: Is he alright?
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Monica: What is it?
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Phoebe: Oh, is that who the monkey's named after?
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Monica: What is it?
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Ross: Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]
Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
[Scene: Barry's office, Rachel is doing her makeup in the mirror on Barry's lamp as Barry enters.]
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!
Phoebe: Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Chandler: And this- is my reward!
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.