words in movies
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?!
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Jamie: What is this place?
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Chandler: OK, is there a mute button on this woman?
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Monica: (furious) That's it! Dinner is over!
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Susan: What is, honey?
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]
Chandler: There it is! So what're you gonna do?
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
(Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Ursula: He is? Why?
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Jamie: All we want is two Caffe Lattes.
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Ross: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
[Scene: Chandler's Office, later that day, Nina is in his office.]
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Phoebe: Is he alright?
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Teacher: Good. Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Monica: What is it?
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.