words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]
Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to Dr. Baldhara, a zookeeper.]
Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?
Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
PA: This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
(Marcel is put in a cage and taken away.)
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Ohh, how is he?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
Rachel: What is she doing here?
[Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.]
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is about to begin.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Ross: Is that Mark?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Chandler: What is it?
Ross: Althea is correct.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: Well, this is much better.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out]
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Ross: Who is Maria?
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
MRS GREEN: This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
(Ross is at a loss for words.)
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: What, what is it?
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Mr. Treeger:: Hey Duck, is Chick here?
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Chandler: Is it on?
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
CHAN: OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something. . . repellant. . . about me?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
CHANDLER: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Joey: Is she great or what?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her guitar.]
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Ross: Mitzi is.....
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.
Monica: Oh, is everything in the car?
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
[cut to the living room where Mrs. Burkart is now performing.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Mrs. Potter: Oh really? Well, then youd better tell his other wife, cause she called three times asking where he is.
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]