words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]
Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to Dr. Baldhara, a zookeeper.]
Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?
Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
PA: This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
(Marcel is put in a cage and taken away.)
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
(Ross is still taking photos)
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Ross: We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Phoebe: I know where Minsk is.
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Ross: Well, wait a minute, wha- why is she in the title?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Monica: Well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah!
Jessica Lockhart: Oh yes there is!
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it'snot really true, is it?
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
(She walks up to where Doug is finishing another joke to another group.)
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Monica: Is he really coming? Because I can see right into your apartment!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.