words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: What is it?
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Joey: Because she is!
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is fiddling with the drawer.]
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
BILL: "Spuds" is your grandmother?
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Monica: This is your cellphone?
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Great. So the ball is in his court?
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Phoebe: Who is this?
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Ross: Who is he?
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Monica: And what else is it not?
Monica: But ehm...what is it not?
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number.
Rachel: I dont know, you thought See you Saturday was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Monica: I'm sorry, idea time is over.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Chandler: This is..shhh!
Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start!
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.
Rachel: Oh, but of course it is!
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word!
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7"
Monica: This is kind of a classy place.
<Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away>
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandlers: Dude, none of this is cool.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
[Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing]
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: What is it?
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.