words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: What is it?
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Chandler: Im leaning. This is where I lean.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Tag: No. (Unzips his coat.) This is my red sweater.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Mona: Yknow, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Mona: You dont think this is too fast.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Ross: No. That guy is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Monica: You think this is clever?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Monica: Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date!
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and theyre not speaking right now.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Rachel: Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Chandler: What is it?
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
[Scene: The Doctors Office, the doctor is writing something as Rachel is on the table, and Ross is standing.]
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]