words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Monica as Ross enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: What is it?
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
The Acting Teacher: All right, lets start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler has his eyes closed, while Monica is fully awake.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, Ross is drinking a beer while Rachel is examining herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Joey: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so Papa dont preach.
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Chandler: Hey! Im sorry! That(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going?
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
(the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back.)
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.