words in movies
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Joey: What the hell is that?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: What else is new?
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Rachel: What is?
Bitsy: Is he really?
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
[Scene: The Reception Hall, the party is in full swing.]
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Kristen: Umm, this is great wine.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Really? Wow, this is so much better than I
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Chandler: Jenny! That is so Jenny!
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?
Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?
Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is in the kitchen as Phoebe enters.]
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Chandler: Good save! We're back on track, and I'm... (grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
Tim: I got your page, is everything okay?
[Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.]
Ross: Guess whose middle name is Muriel.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Chandler: How is that me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!