words in movies
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Chandler: If that is your father calling to tell this story then the marriage is off!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Joey: Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean!
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, is tied up alongside the pier; Joey and Rachel are relaxing.]
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler enters. Ross is putting on makeup.]
Ross: Whats all this about you guys fighting?! Is this really over a room?! I mean, that is so silly!
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Rachel: Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: Okay, is this lamp in the same place?
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! Youre parents like me, right?
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Phoebe: And who else is going to be there?
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Ross: Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping.
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Rachel: (in an Indian accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Rachel: It sure is.
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Judge: Is there, anything in this record that is actually true?
[Chandler is mega shocked!]
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Chandler: Is that gal pal spelled L-O-S-E-R?
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Rachel: Whatyeahwhat, yknow what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams table discussing the bill.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?