words in movies
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Ross: That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet?
Ross: Ah, and where is Joey?
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Chandler: Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Rachel: Is that it?
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Chandler: Was that Emma? Is she up?
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
(Phoebe's bear takes the lead, followed by Joey's robot, and far behind is Chandler and Monica's dog, which walks a few paces, stops and starts barking, sits, walks again, and so on... )
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Chandler: I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica?
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: (looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. Its like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Phoebe: See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. (She rushes into her room)
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Phoebe: Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when were married!
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is flipping through magazines. Handyman is installing things. Monica enters.]
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is making a sandwich as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
Leslie: Ah, yeah, umm. (singing) Home is never far away..
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Rachel: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can'tI still can't believe it. (Rachel grabs the picture from Monica)
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
CHANDLER: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment; Elizabeth is inquiring as to the delay in Ross's exit from her bathroom.]