words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Joey: How is it you?
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe's beeper is going off]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Monica: That is never good.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: Where is this party?
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Rachel: Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis.
Monica: What is it?!
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
MRS GREEN: I do. You didn't love Barry. And I've never seen you this happy. I look at you and I think, oh, this is what I want.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Allesandro: Well our service is not grossly incompetent.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: This is beautiful!
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: She is now.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is asleep and snoring loudly. Chandler enters wondering who left their engine running.]
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Pete: Okay, I love you. Is that so bad?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: What the heck is that?
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Rachel: Ohh! (Realises that Ross is in the room.) Hi!
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Rachel: What? Who the hell is Emily(realises) noooo!!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Joey: And there it is.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.
Ross: Oh great! (They get up to dance and Ross is interrupted by a little girl.)
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Monica: What is it hon?
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)