words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Joey: How is it you?
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Janice: What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
Chandler: Is anybody else scared?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Ross: There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe's beeper is going off]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Monica: That is never good.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Janice: Where is this party?
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Monica: So-so there is no party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Rachel: Yeah, sure. (To Monica) All right, whose court is the ball in now?
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Monica: What?! What is it?
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Chandler: What is going on here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! Its freshwater eel!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: What is up?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: This is disgusting!
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Larry: And where is your hat?
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.