words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Ross: You're nose is bleeding!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing a crossword puzzle.]
Chandler: So, I guess this is over.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
Ross: Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
Rachel: What is it?
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Aurora: Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Rachel: Who is being loud?
Monica: I can't believe this! This is like the worst night ever!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Back at Chandler and Joey's party. Everyone is dancing and having fun.]
Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing]
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is absent.]
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Janine: Sure, New Years Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Paolo: (something in Italian, he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]
MONICA: Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)
Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?
Shelley: Is Brian...?
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Ross: What, what is it?
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Chandler: He is?
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?
Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: Aqui est�. (Here it is!)
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.]
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]