words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
Monica: Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together? How is that even gonna work?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]
Ross: You're nose is bleeding!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Chandler: I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez, relax mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
Chandler: Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing a crossword puzzle.]
Chandler: So, I guess this is over.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel is out to join Kim and Nancy.]
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Rachel: Is Monica here?
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Ross: What-what is it?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Rachel: Yes it is!
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
[The first clip is from The One Where Rachel Finds Out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
[Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.]
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel is trying to sell the cat.]
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
Mr. Zelner: That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.
Chandler: Oh that is over!
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: I know. My arm is killing me.
Rachel: Yeah, it is amazing it lasted that long.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Chandler: (wincing) Yes, he is!
Gunther: (To Ross) Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Beautiful? You think this is beautiful? (picks up the remote and presses a button, and he immediately makes a face that just looks like hes going to throw up!)
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is talking to his students.]
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!