words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Benjamin: Joking it is!
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Chandler: He really is a chameleon.
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
[Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters]
Benjamin: Well... there is just one small... stipulation...
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Chandler: Lying is wrong!
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Monica: So-so there is no party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Rachel: Yeah, sure. (To Monica) All right, whose court is the ball in now?
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Monica: What?! What is it?
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Chandler: What is going on here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! Its freshwater eel!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: What is up?
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: This is disgusting!
[Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Larry: And where is your hat?
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.