words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Benjamin: Joking it is!
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Chandler: He really is a chameleon.
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
[Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters]
Benjamin: Well... there is just one small... stipulation...
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Chandler: Lying is wrong!
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane.
Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Monica: What is the worse part?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
Ross: That is so made up!
(Monica is sarcastically amazed.)
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
MRS GREEN: I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
Chandler: Look, Im telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
RTST: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]
Ross: This is Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Mark: What is going on?
Ross: Which one is Gina?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
Phoebe: Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Chandler: The man is showing brain.
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
Phoebe: Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Joey: Wow! This girl is good.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Joey: Beth is really, really sick.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang, except Rachel, is watching a new singer.]
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Joey: Is ah, is Chandler around?
CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Leslie is singing.]
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?