words in movies
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Chandler: Oh, yknow what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Well, actually its a hockey team, so its angry Canadians with no teeth.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
The Waiter: No, its really good.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Ross: Fine. Youll-youll watch it on video when we get back.
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Chandler: We actually missed it.
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Drunken Gambler: It went under the table.
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: Okay! Oh God, yknow what? Its really bad.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Monica: No, dont say it! Dont even think it!
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
Monica: Oh my God its old!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Monica: It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me?
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, sure, its not mine anyway. It can with the pants.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, howd she take it?
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
Monica: Why do you do it?
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Rachel: It is? Really?
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? Ive got a really good one! Ive been thinking about it since Kansas.
Chandler: Who was it?
Chandler: So, thats it?
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
(They pause to think about it.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.