words in movies
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Estelle: What can I say? She nailed it.
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
(Chandler makes it into the bowl.)
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Danny: Like it would help.
Rachel: (not sure what to do) Uh, it was very nice meeting you. (They continue to ignore her.)
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Rachel: Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it.
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Chandler: No, it was me. I'm sorry. I over reacted.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Monica: It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Dr. Zane: It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation.
Monica: Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Monica: Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Billy: So its-its not heeled yet?
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Phoebe: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
Rachel: Oh, that must be it.
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
RACHEL: [entering hurriedly] Did I miss it? Did I miss it?
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Ross: ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with...
Alice: Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, were kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Phoebe: Oh, what? What was it?
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Bonnie: You wanna touch it?
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
(They all pause and think about it.)
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
Ross: Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.