words in movies
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Estelle: What can I say? She nailed it.
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
(Chandler makes it into the bowl.)
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Danny: Like it would help.
Rachel: (not sure what to do) Uh, it was very nice meeting you. (They continue to ignore her.)
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Rachel: Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it.
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Chandler: No, it was me. I'm sorry. I over reacted.
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Monica: It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
Ross: Its not a library...
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I dont believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Chandler: Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Rachel: Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Phoebe: Its Monicas bed. What?
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Phoebe: Well, if you really, really want it, then its okay.
Rachel: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...
Ross: Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Ross: (to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
Rachel: Its Robert Bobby.
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Phoebe: No, no, its just my tooth.
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
Monica: I got it!
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Monica: Give it. Give it.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Monica did it?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Monica: Okay. Lets bring it in.
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Chandler: Sorry. Im sorry. Y'know what, were just gonna throw it.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Monica: No its not, its second.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Ross: Uh, hello, its third down.
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Monica: Pulling what? Its second down.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Rachel: Now, does it really matter?
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Monica: No its not! You want it, youre gonna have to win it!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
Monica: Youre so pathetic! Why cant you just accept it, were winning because Im better than you.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Sarah: So thats two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. (Does the Brown Bird salute, she blows on a bird call, then holds her hand, palm facing out, next to her face, and then waves it like a bird flapping its wings.)
Student: Oh its great, its a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer.
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.