words in movies
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. (Walks back to the Maitre d', very smoothly) Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. (Shakes his hand)
Monica: How did it go?
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
Phoebe: Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight.
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-youre wrecking it.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Rachel: And remember how you always said you were afraid the landlord would find out and then tear it down?
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Rachel: (seeing the collection of characters.) Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunnys funeral in here.
Rachel: I got it!
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
Monica: I got it!
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Monica: Give it. Give it.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Ross: Oh well. It probably wouldve been the most constructive solution.
Ross: Monica did it?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Chandler: Well what did it do?
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Monica: Okay. Lets bring it in.
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Chandler: Sorry. Im sorry. Y'know what, were just gonna throw it.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Monica: No its not, its second.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Ross: Uh, hello, its third down.
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Monica: Pulling what? Its second down.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Rachel: Now, does it really matter?
RACHEL: I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry, it's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like woah, Ross's hands are on my butt. Sorry.
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Monica: No its not! You want it, youre gonna have to win it!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
Monica: Youre so pathetic! Why cant you just accept it, were winning because Im better than you.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Sarah: So thats two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. (Does the Brown Bird salute, she blows on a bird call, then holds her hand, palm facing out, next to her face, and then waves it like a bird flapping its wings.)
Student: Oh its great, its a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer.
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Hey! Its 42-21!
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
MONICA: It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
(It starts snowing.)
Chandler: Well, you dont you have Captain Hook explain it to her.
Chandler: (thinks about it) Yeah?
Rachel: I don't know... sometimes it doesn't.
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Gunther: Its all right. Sweetheart.
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: Oh Pheebs, thats great. It doesnt count.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: Can't get the monkey off your back? Then put it in your mouth...
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Guy: Looks good. Ill take it.
Guy: Its-its-its almost dead!
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Monica: (she reaches out for it and stops) Oh God! I gotta go! (runs out)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)