words in movies
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
All: Oh, I got it.
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Mary-Theresa: Its no big deal. Chandler was just kissin me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Julie: Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: But why does it even matter?!
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
Ross: And itll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
PHOE: What makes it pilgrim?
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Pete: So? I mean have you thought about it?
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Ross: Shake it!
Monica: Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Ross: Shake it!
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
Chandler: Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Phoebe: Its a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Phoebe: Do you really like it?
Chandler: I kinda like it here.
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Monica: Its not a date, okay. Im just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has.
Monica: You only think its stupid because you suck at it.
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves.
Joey: "Whered you grow up," its so simple!
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Monica: Well it clearly wasnt showering or shaving.
Chandler: Because its awesome.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Rachel: Because its embarrassing.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Joey: Oh yeah? All right, lets do it tonight.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that thats exactly it. Youre right. Yeah.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!