words in movies
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
All: Oh, I got it.
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Mary-Theresa: Its no big deal. Chandler was just kissin me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: I like it.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: All right, look Im just gonna unplug it.
The Interviewer: How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Ross: It really was.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Monica: Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it.
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Monica: (interrupting her) Oh give it a rest!
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Ross: Its possible, they have really sharp edges.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: Either, it makes no difference.
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Ray: Yeah all thats gone. Its basically just a simple question and answer game now.
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Ray: Uh well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didnt follow it.
Monica: Its frightening.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Phoebe: You got it!
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Chandler: What about it?
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Ross: Ah, mustve been fairly obvious since it was the only thing left in your store.
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Katie: Okay. It was nice to see you.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]