words in movies
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
All: Oh, I got it.
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Mary-Theresa: Its no big deal. Chandler was just kissin me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
Ross: So, what? That's it?
Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Monica: I'll do it!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Phoebe: Well, it felt French.
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Rachel: I'm gonna do it.
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Ross: Wait! It was my plan.
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Rachel: Yeah, what's it about?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Monica: No-no, Rachel, dont get it! He cant see us!
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Monica: That's what it sounded like.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Phoebe: You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Monica: Harder than it sounds. Isn't it?
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
Frank: It's not that weird, is it?
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. (Walks back to the Maitre d', very smoothly) Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. (Shakes his hand)
Phoebe: I know, it is.
Phoebe: Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know.
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Frank: Yes, it has a head!
Dr. Harad: Okay, now push! That's it push! Just concentrate on pushing! Yeah, here we go!
Frank: Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it!
Chandler: Okay, keep saying it!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Ross: You did it, man.
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Joey: The reactors gonna blow in three seconds, were never gonna make it!
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
(Ross's phone rings and he answers it.)
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Ross: No. Im saying its now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Ross: It could happen.
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
Monica: (answering it) Hello.
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Monica: They torn it down a few days early.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
Phoebe: Ooh, Madlibs, mine! (Grabs it.)
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.