words in movies
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
All: Oh, I got it.
(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Rachel: He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Mary-Theresa: Its no big deal. Chandler was just kissin me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Rachel: Well its mine too! What else you got?!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Mr. Burgin: Well just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and well be right out of you hair.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: Yes it would. What do you say to $50?
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going?
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Kim: I didnt read it.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Phoebe: Ohh, yes it would.
Ross: (stops her) Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, Ive been thinking, Im just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Rachel: Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)