words in movies
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Monica: Ross will do it.
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Ross: Oh sure, "Ross will do it!" Its not like he has a job, or a child, or a life of his own.
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Dr. Zane: It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation.
Monica: Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Monica: Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late.
Ross: (blows it) Sorry. Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Billy: So its-its not heeled yet?
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Phoebe: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
Rachel: Oh, that must be it.
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
(Ross finds a clock, sees its almost 8:30, and silently screams.)
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
RACHEL: [entering hurriedly] Did I miss it? Did I miss it?
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Ross: ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with...
Alice: Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, were kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Phoebe: Oh, what? What was it?
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Bonnie: You wanna touch it?
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
(They all pause and think about it.)
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
Ross: Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.