words in movies
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Rachel: Hey! How's it going? Did you make any new friends?
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And yknow, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
The A.D: The one with "Heston" on it.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Terry: Its a different building.
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Ross: Yeah, i-it's for the museum. Someone found a bone, we want the bone, but they don't want us to have the bone, so I'm going over there to try to persuade them to give us the boit'sit's a whole big bone thing. Anyway, I'm gonna be gone for like, uh... like a week, so, uh, if you wanna reach me, y-you can't. So here's my itinerary (hands a sheet of paper to Monica). Um... here's a picture of me... (hands it to Monica)
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
JOEY: It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Monica: Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Mr. Kaplan: Im not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
ROSS: (pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.)� Never mind.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Ross: What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Rachel: Well, believe me, its been a long time since Ive been flung.
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Max: It won't be the same- but it'll still be Minsk. Happy New Year.(Walks off)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)
(Theres applause as Helena turns around and its Kathleen Turner.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Phoebe: Ha-ha, its not my baby, ha-ha-ha! (He leaves.)
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Tag: (interrupting again) Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny.
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, its going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! Were not even sure why were having it.