words in movies
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesnt it?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: So, hows it going?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Rachel: Its just the pizza place.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Chandler: Here it is! Here it is!
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Ross: Fine. Youll-youll watch it on video when we get back.
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Chandler: We actually missed it.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Chandler: Its a buffet man.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Drunken Gambler: It went under the table.
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: Okay! Oh God, yknow what? Its really bad.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Monica: No, dont say it! Dont even think it!
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
Monica: Oh my God its old!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Monica: It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me?
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Phoebe: Whats the big deal, yknow? Its not like its a real marriage.
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, sure, its not mine anyway. It can with the pants.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, howd she take it?
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Ross: But it absolutely didnt. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didnt!! It didnt!!
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
Monica: Why do you do it?
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Rachel: It is? Really?
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? Ive got a really good one! Ive been thinking about it since Kansas.
Chandler: Who was it?
Chandler: So, thats it?
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)