words in movies
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Kathy: If you want it to be.
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Monica: Nah, I got it.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
(She has cleaned it, completely redecorated it, removed the carpet, and polished the floor.)
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Joey: Howd it go?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Rachel: Well its mine too! What else you got?!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Mr. Burgin: Well just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and well be right out of you hair.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: Yes it would. What do you say to $50?
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going?
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Kim: I didnt read it.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Phoebe: Ohh, yes it would.
Ross: (stops her) Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, Ive been thinking, Im just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Rachel: Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)