words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Carol: That could be it.
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Rachel: Well uh, yes and no. Except not no. So to sum it up, yeah.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Yeah! I bet I can do it.
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Ross: Yknow I would its just painful.
Chandler: You do it!
Joey: You do it!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Joey: Hey! Its your bachelor party.
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Phoebe: Its slang for pregnant.
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
Ross: Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
Monica: I cant do it. Im sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me....
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Yknow, its been a while since weve screamed something. Maybe we should.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Will: Its good to see you man.
Monica: What?! I thought hed love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit!
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Mona: So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends.
Monica: Everyone at our school heard it!
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
Monica: Its true?!!
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Ross: Look Im sorry Pheebs, I cant do it.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Julie: Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: But why does it even matter?!
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
CHANDLER: Wow, it sounds even cooler when somebody else says it. I was awesome, ok? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Rachel: This Alan again? How's it goin'?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]